So I’ve watched 27 Dresses on HBO and am currently finishing Bridge Jones Diary on Lifetime because I need to further delude myself about love and romance. But with this weekend and an afternoon to reflect, I can kinda see some things in the movies now that crack me up.

Long story short, I got a text yesterday while at the Tech game from the evil ex that said, “Adatingdiary, you know I’ll always love you.” and then later one that said, “I miss you.” And I was a.) shocked I got that and b.) pissed off that he would send something like that. I didn’t reply and he then sent one apologizing for sending that. And I don’t feel a thing towards him. Just disappointed I wasted some of my prime years on him. After not replying, he later apologized for sending the “I miss you text.” But all I can think? Douchebag. He then went for the low blow with another text later by trying to remind me of something from our marriage that was rather heartbreaking and that we went through together. I responded by saying that the boyfriend and I have already discussed that issue.

I also replied that I told the boyfriend about our text conversations as the boyfriend is cool with anything as long as I keep him in the loop. The ex replied (thanks Iphone for keeping all texts in chat form):

Evil Ex: Ok, I see whats up. Glad I could boost your already inflated ego. I’m such a sucker.

Adatingdiary: Hilarious. Its about me being with a better man now. Not ego.

(and, I might add, totally random and I am assuming an attempt to cover up his embarrassed and bruised ego…)

Evil Ex: Ha. I’ve had the best sex of my life with 22yr old sarah. Im doing just fine.

SAY WHAT? Now, this rather bizarre turn of events just proved how totally over him I am. Really? How on EARTH did it come to this??? Totally uncalled for and immature. I thought about how to handle that statement, but after weighing all the knee-jerk reactions, replied:

Adatingdiary: 1. You’re middle aged and too old to be preying on young waitresses. Its called pedophila. 2. That’s bs that its the best sex. The best sex is when you’re truly in love with the person like I am with the boyfriend.

His response?

Evil ex: Look, peace. Good luck to you.

And this? Is a perfect example of how I don’t miss him at all because I am not missing out on anything. He’s pratically 36. Bragging about sleeping with a Hooters waitress. Seriously? Is that something to be proud of? He finally just finished law school and took the bar, because the probation period for his DUI prevented him from taking it this past spring. His step brother, who is only a couple years older than him, is running for reelection in the State Senate. He’s wasted his youth at a bar. I mean, I’m all for following your dreams, but he started law school in 2001. Its almost 2009. What does he want, a cookie? He’s pathetic and I do find it funny that he would think that he could somehow win me over again. It took me awhile to learn my lesson, but the million time is the charm.

The boyfriend was extremely supportive of all that happened and was quite proud of me and handling the situation despite being in the same stadium. And this is why the boyfriend is the sweetest man on earth. All the evil ex did was bring me and the boyfriend closer together. So I guess he didn’t think that cunning plan all the way through. In the meantime, Hugh Grant’s loser character reminds me of the evil ex, although not nearly as cute, and the boyfriend? The respectable Colin Firth.