The Favorite Thing.

Christian Carter.

Who is he? Yeah, I had no idea until January 1st when Polly Pocket’s friend Eli told me about this book and we spent the whole day reading it. Really. The WHOLE DAY. As if we were in a Jane Austin novel reading sonnets by the piano forte.

It was extremely enlightening and tons of fun. We debated what he wrote and our own personal experiences with dating and what works/doesn’t work. When you sign up, you will get emails, but they are totally interesting and worth it. Polly Pocket took the advice of Christian Carter and how to deal with men and went on a date with a new boy within a week. Carter is brutally honest and spells out in the book what we sometimes try to hide from ourselves- reality.

Read up, people!

Over It. Part Deux.

I know Blondie wrote about post about being over her job. While I am thankful for one, this is no way to live. And I have not worked less than 10 hours a day since I got back. I’ve canceled plans already, missed book club and now I am here into hour 12 tonight and trying so hard not to cry. I am failing miserably at that.

I also calculated how much more I would be making if I was not salaried. Its not pretty in the slightest.

I’d be making almost 50% more.

My vacation was the best I’ve felt and most relaxed I’ve been in months. I resolved not to let another year pass me by while I work a ridiculous amount at a job where I am extremely underpaid.

I hate my life right now and am wasting my 20’s letting everything pass me by.

Therefore, I am over it. 100%.

I Loathe Hose.

I got a run in my sheer black hose. I had to take them off before the fashion police came to take me away for a serious fashion violation.

In the meantime, it looks like there are two blindingly white PVC pipes poking out beneath my knee-length pencil skirt.

Yes, I truly am that pale.

And its cold out.

Grrr.

Favorite Things.

I have tons to write about, but in the meantime, I figure I shall write about one of my favorite things of 2008-

Portobello Vintage Jewelry.

As we all know, I worked way too much in 2008. 2009 is not off to such a great start, but I plan to stay strong and not overdo it on the work front. One thing that came from spending so much time at work was that my work wardrobe increased tremendously. I mean, if you’re going to be in suits/skirts/pants/heels for 12+ hours a day, you should at least feel like a girl, right?

So I accessorized. A lot. And bought tons of fun jewelry last year. I bought several things from this designer and received compliments anytime I wore something of hers. I love designs that combine both vintage and new and she does this with a side of femininity without overdoing it. Plus, a cute and feminine necklace with a suit is insanely professional and gets prevents any “butch” feeling. My favorite are a pair of flower earrings with pearls in the center. They aren’t on her site, but oh well. She does have an etsy site, but is on vacation, so there is nothing on there.

Anyways, just thought I’d share. Its been a long year filled with too much work, but at least I looked cute doing it!

Happy New Year!

Yes, in my almost 2 weeks off, I have neglected the blog. In the meantime, I’ve had the best Christmas ever (seriously- Best. Christmas. Ever.), the best New Years ever and am totally thankful for all the highs and lows from this year. Maybe I worked too much and I vow to not let another year pass me by while I spend it at the office. I am thankful to be dating a wonderful guy and for all the hilarity that has ensued. I am thankful for my friends and for everything I learned in 2008.

These past years have been rough from an emotional standpoint and I am well on the other side of it. There are great, fabulous men out there.

There are some things in the works and all I can say is that 2009 is going to be an amazing year.

Happy New Year!!!

My First Turkey.

I bought a lovely 14+ lb. turkey.

I have never cooked one before.

Prepare for photos and kitchen destruction tomorrow.

Its my first turkey.

Also, $1 beer night might have been the greatest Christmas Eve Eve night EVER. Too much fun. And Leeny needs to write a book on picking up guys cause she is good.

In Other News.

Its vacation time, y’all! I am tres excited about leaving today and not coming back until January 5th. What shall I do with this time? I have no clue.

In other news, I keep seeing this commercial:

And I despise it. Who wants pajamas? I sure as heck don’t. I can buy those myself. I also would never believe the male in my life has spent an entire month planning it as the commercial states.

And these things are heinous. Take a gander:

Heinous. Should I wear my hair up in a bun? You can call me the ol’ spinster Adatingdiary.

For those women who secretly love Pat Buchanan and the witty phrase “Slumber Jack” on their chest.

My eyes are burning!

Wow. Army fatigues. Thrilling.

See, the worst part is that these all border around the $50+ mark. I don’t know who buys these, but I hope to never receive a pajamagram.

Awkward Moment.

Last night there were two things going on- Princess moving back to Michigan and we had a recruit in town and if you’ve gotta recruit someone, Adatingdiary always goes to the dinner. I’m told its because I say random crap. Either way, I provide cheap entertainment.

So we go to a mexican restaurant up the street from my office. I have 1 grande margarita and 1 smaller one and am all chatty with everyone. I go over to some of the guys to say hello and catch up. As I go over there, I see this very nice older gentleman who is some braniac from Asia. I walk over and say:

Adatingdiary: Hello, Braniac!

Braniac: (swaying) You look so good right now.

Adatingdiary: (choking on my margarita) Um… excuse me?

And then he mumbled something else as I mentally pressed the abort button on this social situation.

I walked back over to where I originally was and texted Metro, “Braniac just totally creeped me out.” He came over laughing to tell me he heard Brainac say it and that Brainiac has never had a margarita before, let alone two grande top shelf ones like the one Metro ordered for him.

Welcome to America.

At that moment, Brainiac walked over to Princess to say goodbye “Before I Get Too Drunk.”

Ah, work and booze. Always a recipe for a trainwreck.

Help a Good Cause.

Go over to this site and tell Blondie to get drunk and make out with Ed Hardy guy this evening. I am all about encouraging Blondie to get drunk and make bad decisions.

I’m a good friend.

Or as regular guy said, “She should totally just grab his junk and tell him she wants to make out with him.”

The fact that the word junk was used is disturbing, but whatever. Go encourage her to get drunk and get her makeout on with that dude!

Ps- And read her entry on Favorite Things. It rocks.

Ooooh! My Turn.

I stole this from Blondie’s blog and she borrowed it from someone else:

1. Put iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. Write down that song name, no matter how silly it sounds.

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
Ok, It’s Alright with Me - Eric Hutchinson
Ha, my ipod’s a smart ass.

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
How Long Do I Have to Wait For You? - Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings
Very accurate.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Home - Michael Buble

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Do What You Want - Ok Go

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
If I Wanted to Call You - The Holiday Soundtrack

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Darling, You Were Beautiful Once - William F. Gibbs
Ha! Wait a second, smart ass ipod…

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Moving in Stereo - The Cars

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Food Chain - Eric Hutchinson
Very True.

WHAT IS 2+2?
Big Girls Don’t Cry - Fergie

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Green Light - John Legend w/ Andre 3000

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Do You Know? - Enrique Iglesias

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Why Didn’t I Think of That - Doug Stone
Once again, so true.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Over You - Daughtry
Smart ass ipod does it again!

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Beautiful Girls - Sean Kingston
So embarrassed that’s on my ipod.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
4 in the Morning - Gwen Stefani

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Sealion - Feist

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Don’t Stop the Music - Rihanna
Probably.

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
What I’ve Done - Linkin Park

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Superhero - Jane’s Addiction
Didn’t y’all suspect my superhero status?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Ain’t Nothing Wrong with That - Robert Randolph and the Family Band

WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Walk This Way - Run DMC

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
If the Rain Must Fall - James Morrison

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Rock Me Gently - Andy Kim

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
The Water - Feist

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Shadow of the Day - Linkin Park

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Sex and the City Movie Theme- The Pfeifer Broz. Orchestra
Who’s my Mr. Big?? And where the eff is he?

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
California - Metro Station

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
The Letter - James Morrison

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
At Your Side - The Corrs

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Call the Police - James Morrison

WILL YOU POST THIS?
Circus - Britney Spears

My Head Hurts.

I feel like I’ve just been through the Corporate America version of college finals. Disappearing into a black hole of work. Only eating items that should be sold in vending machines (yay gift baskets!) and lacking any social life. Well, what did I do in college to commemorate the end of a semester? Going out always sufficed.

And I did that yesterday.

There was a Taco Mac involved and a trip to Cheers. And maybe some time on Marta (cause its Smarta) and some more beer and possibly even some dancing. Ok, there was dancing and I am sorry to everyone who witnessed it.

Anyways, Polly Pocket’s party today. And my head is killing me. I need to pull it together and rally like a champ, but sadly, my recovery skills have greatly diminished since college. My liver hates me and my head is reminding me of this fact. Reminding me that I am getting too old for these antics.

Our Triumphant Return.

Last night I had to run a project down to another project at another company’s office. And guess what? It was right above Old Cheers. So a quick text to Blondie and we decided to meet up! Ps- it was my first night out in a couple weeks. And its been a month since I was out on a weekend night… incredibly sad.

So anyway.

We met up. Went to Old Cheers. I drank, um, 60 oz. of delicious Liquid Gold. We decided it was boring and left to atone for our error and went to New Cheers. And then I don’t know how much I drank because everytime I turned around, the bartender refilled my drink. But I am estimating that I drank too much. Some other regulars met up with us and we all chatted, paranoid and trainwreck Adatingdiary came out as I was convinced that one guy hanging out with us was doing coke. Now mind you, I’ve never done drugs and would probably think coke was powdered sugar. And yes, I am embarrassed to be me. Cause you know what?

It was a freakin’ napkin because he’d been sick all week. And I am officially a moron. And was mocked.

So we drank some more. Laughed. Blondie now has a crush (!) on one of the regulars. But he was wearing an Ed Hardy shirt and she would totally change that.

So it was a glorious night. And I was so excited that I went out on a school night that I woke up this morning at 4am and too hyper to fall back asleep because I have finally reentered society and the world outside of the company.

And a wonderful thing it is.

Well except for my whole out of touch with reality where I think napkins are illegal contraband.

Adorable!

I was just perusing one of my design magazines and this adorable scarf was listed. Its the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Maybe I’ve just been working too much… its from littlefactory.com

Its a laser-cut scarf! So adorable! I will be buying one…

Another Note.

Someone from area code 225 just called. Thats Louisiana. Blondie thinks its Bill or Sookie from True Blood. I totally hope so. That would make my day more interesting. Vampires and the like. They always make the holidays more festive.

Confession.

I heart 80’s music. I may have mentioned this in passing on the blog. But I love this song:

I just want to douse everyone in the video with soap and shampoo. They all need a shower and as much as I like this song, they need to bathe. Seriously. I am almost neurotic about showering and hygiene and they all look dirty. Like Dirty Band Aids.

Life Can Resume.

There are two guaranteed times when you shouldn’t be near me- when I am hungry or when I am tired. Those two things together? Totally lethal. Fortunately, the plethora of gifts from people trying to buy our love have kept me far from hunger. On the other hand, between this weekend, Monday and Tuesday I worked over 40 hours and feel totally exhausted.

Yes, I might have accidentally stabbed the vice president with a pen this morning and then later told my boss I felt like I was floating and I think its safe to say that I am tired.

But we also finished the biggest portion of a huge project. And this means that life can resume. I can now hang out with friends and drink outside the confines of my apartment. I am so excited about the prospect of socializing with people outside of work and gchat that I can hardly stand it.

Brace yourselves for posts that are actually entertaining!!

Turn Off the Damn Lights.

After almost having a nervous breakdown at hour number 12 of work and almost ALMOST throwing my computer across the office and turning in a resignation letter because the workload is unbearable, I went home and cried.

Then upon my return this morning, less than 12 hours after I left, I see a car. With effing christmas lights and faux garland adorning the top. I seriously almost lost it. And wanted to rip the hideous display from the top of the car the woman was still in. Instead I eyed her as we both entered the building. She’s the kind of tacky that wears a Christmas sweater with bells and crap to holiday parties. I don’t know this exactly, but I can just tell. Its a gift.

I swear though, if I snap and climb to the top of her car and remove the garland and lights, I am also removing the damn “MUGGLES” license plate from the car in the parking garage. You’re not Harry Potter. Grow the eff up.

Will someone please spike my coffee?

And bc I just found this on my phone- here is a picture of my bitterly cold trip to Detroit last month and my Jeep Commander, which has one wretched blind spot:

Ahem…

I have totally worked all weekend. Well, once I finally recovered from the bottle of champagne, 1 vodka/soda, 8 white russians and 4-5 shots of Patron at the office Holiday party (yes, I know I am a horrible PSA about what not to do as an adult), I have worked. All. Weekend.

But this evening, as we watch the 9th consectutive episode of Big Love, season one, I am thinking about my year end blog recap.

And it totally will include how I still don’t know where 3 hours of my life went Friday night (I totally don’t recall the events in question) or how I don’t know where Vinny’s water bowl is (it somehow disappeared when I got home after the party) and how one of the really nice shoes I wore ended up next to the dog food or how another one ended up on a shelf. Yes, I think I had a melt down after all the stress and totally cut loose at the party. So in leiu of a longer post, so I can get BACK to work, I leave you with this conversational nugget (after playing the game of How Many Vice Presidents at Our Company Can I Get to Take a Shot of Patron with Me? Answer: All of them!):

Old, Creepy Dude from Work: Well, you look good tonight. Did you see me earlier?

Me: Yes, you were that creepy old guy checking me out.

Old, Creepy Dude from Work: Haha, you saw that?

Me: Yes.

He still makes me shudder. Freakin’ shrek.

Trooper.

Where O Where have I been?  At work. At Work. Weekend- Sick all weekend. Work. Work.

Not to mention hacking up a lung at work. Its been all freakin’ exciting. Work has taken over once again. BUT! This time I have the power that is the iPhone and shall not be out of touch with everyone. Blondie and I are planning on celebrating tomorrow night with a trip to cheers. I haven’t seen Blondie in like, forever, and its about time! So all is well in Adatingdiary world. Except my apparent early onset emphysema.

Its about time for me to do my end of year recap- which I did last year on my blog, but I don’t know if I transferred it over. Either way, I can’t believe a year has flown by. And I mean- FLOWN BY. And its kinda sad. I don’t really feel like I accomplished a lot this year. I mean, I’ve had a ton of fun, but it just seems that work has been the major portion of the pie chart that is my life.

Hmmm… Time to ponder.

Instead…

of working, like I should be, I need a quick blog break.

I finally returned from D-town and the flight was delayed forever because they hit some birds on the way in and the whole plane had to be reinspected. I got home late and cuddled with Vin. Was so excited to see my little man.

I spent Wednesday working 13 hours straight. I wanted to shoot myself.

Yesterday I took a half day and went to the GT/Miami game and we tailgated hard. The boyfriend and I were finally reunited after a week of both of us traveling. We drank. Ate. Drank. Were cold. Drank. Laughed (a lot). And then went to the game. Princess and I left around halftime because this girl- yes, me- was tired and in my drunken stupor, I had this very insightful mental conversation:

Me: Hmm. I am leaving. If this tailgate site were to be pillaged before everyone returned, what would I want to make sure wasn’t stolen. OH! Ok, I got it. I’ll take the 100 proof captain and ginger ale for the boyfriend and tostitos for me! Gee, I am such a toughtful girlfriend.
And then I left. And went home. And passed out.

Meanwhile, everyone came back to tailgate and wanted the 100 proof captain that my dumbass took back home with me. So I had about 14 missed calls this morning from all sorts of people. Yeah, my logic didn’t work out so well. The boyfriend came home and apparently I wouldn’t even wake up. This morning when the alarm went off? He was still drunk. (So, see? Me taking the 100 proof captain was probably a good thing- or he’d be sick right now.) We were a trainwreck of epic proportions. So much so that I physically couldn’t iron for fear of getting sick, so I threw on black pants and the cream cashmere sweater I wore last night. Oh, so classy.

So today has included working with a hangover. And I am praying to get out of here at a decent hour. Work has taken over again and it blows. At least I’ll have some 100 proof captain tonight to numb the stress.

Ummm.

The flight crew for my flight that’s supposed to take off in 5 minutes just went to mcdonalds. The captain is discussing his other terminal dining options. Tgifridays? Yeah, it’s gonna be awhile.

Straight razor?

Bubbles.

I’m bored. On hour number two at the airport. Finished my book, made some calls and now sit watching the bubbles in my beer fizz upward.

In the security line I ran into the guy that presented to us this morning. Awkward as I had to take off my black boots and was wearing rather colorful socks. Hey, at least they matched.

Can’t wait to get home and cuddle with my Vin. Miss that adorable pup. Many thanks to the boyfriend, who is on his flight to Boston at this moment, for taking care of him while I was away.

Sucks to come home with the amount of work that has accumulated. I’m still upset about thanksgiving. I needed four days off. I needed a mini-break. Instead my half day thursday to tailgate must suffice.

Thank goodness for amazing friends as they’re keeping me same and smiling.

Awful.

2 additional projects now due the week after thanksgiving. I can’t take the day after thanksgiving off anymore.

Frustrated. And extremely upset.

Its cold.

Well, let’s see. Detroit wasn’t pretty over the summer and the snow, sleet and gray skies don’t add any charm. While I did manage a delightful rental car experience this time, my driving like grandma in a jeep commander probably pissed a bunch of people off.

The one downside was performing triage in the detroit airport as my adorable leopard flats KILLED the back of my heels despite wearing them all last night. And thanks to a consultation with blondie, I have managed to reconfigure my outfit with different shoes. I packed light and did not anticipate this situation.

So now I am partaking in the complimentary adult beverages as I wait for a coworker to pick me up for our night that includes a casino amongst other things. So far, so good. Though I would never want to live up here. Its just gross. And cold.

As for this weekend, last night was a blast! It was so great to see everyone at the twins 30th birthday was great, but I had to leave early. In the meantime, I’ll be up here with my beret, missing atlanta.

If I Had a Bag Full of Cookies…

My adorable pup, Vinny, does this cute little thing when I come home or anyone comes over- he goes and grabs one of his favorite toys (usually a stuffed quail or hedgehog) and brings it over and shakes it in his mouth to show his manliness. I always find it so adorable that he brings the toy over and wants to impress me with how strong he is and how he can “hunt” for stuffed animals and bones. Its so cute and I love him.

I find this interesting because the evil ex husband does the same thing- except I don’t think he’s adorable and I don’t love him. Its more annoying than anything- like an ugly dog that keeps trying to hump your leg.

See, the ex (at 35.5 years old) has completed law school. yay. Whatever. He sent me a text that he passed the bar. Woohoo. Like I care. And last friday proceeded to send me a picture of his certificate from his swearing in. Like Vinny with his stuffed animal. I found it more humorous and pathetic than anything as he’s the last person I think of when something amazing happens in my life. I chose to ignore his attempt for Vinny-like attention and ignored it.

Today, I got this email: “I’m on the website now…” And then listed the link for my convenience so that now I can view an obviously airbrushed small photo of himself on his firm’s website. I then informed him that I received a letter in the mail that he was late with his car. I know what he makes. How on earth does one man go through that much money?

Ok, so what? Does he want cookies (Vinny treats) every time he does something good? That he’s now on a firm website with kids I went to college with? Dude, you’re old. Get over yourself. I’m over you. And more pissed off that you waste precious seconds of my day as I see an email from him and think it might be something about him refinancing the house to get me off the mortgage or something else of worth. Instead its something stupid about him. Him bringing over a stuffed animal to show me how manly he is. He’s the last thing I think of when I think of manly. Real men don’t do the stuff he did to me.

(What’s even more funny is that when I responded to his email asking, “Who takes the pictures?” He was too stupid to realize that I was totally mocking him and really saying, “How much did they have to pay to airbrush you?” Dumbass.)

So here is my message to ex douchebag husband- STOP SENDING ME CRAP ABOUT YOURSELF. You’re scum. And I can honestly say you possess a horrible heart. And I feel more bad than anything for you. Good luck with your airbrushed photo. And your mental issues. And drinking issues. And lack of, well. You get the idea. At least my friends and I get a good chuckle out of the responses I could send back, but don’t because you’re like a little dog. Except I like dogs better.

Here’s an effing cookie.

(notice- it has nuts. because he’s freakin’ nuts.)

I Wonder…

If anyone else at work in upper management has realized the mass of people taking a half day next Thursday. I went to the industry event on Tuesday night, which was at a good location, but not good for 300 people. It was in the heart of midtown, so that made chilling outside on their upper patio more enjoyable. While there, I realized that a lot of other coworkers are attending another company’s tailgate near the tailgate we were planning in the most covert fashion- complete with Outlook invitation. (see, thats how covert our operation is. We leave a paper trail.)

So now I am just waiting and seeing as next thursday approaches… and people suddenly put 2 and 2 together.

“Gee whiz! Sure are a lot of people taking half days/visiting jobsites/suffering from ebola today. Hmmm. Nah, can’t be a college football game. Surely it can’t!”

I can just imagine…

Also, I have realized that Borders.com might have THE WORST CUSTOMER SERVICE. EVER. I swear, it was like talking to a character on Fraggle Rock. And made me want to slit my wrists with paper cuts.

In the meantime, this week consisted of me getting my first speeding ticket (yeehaw!) and lots of other random bits of fun. Like turning our controller’s phone to the Wookie ring on the absolute loudest volume while he was out of town. Cheap thrills. I’m all about them.

The Name Sookie Sucks.

Yeah, I know. I have sucked at this whole “write everyday for 30 days” for National Blog Month, but whatever. I’ve been sucked into the whole Twilight and Trueblood crap and thats taken the majority of my time.

SO lets recap this past week- bar with Blondie. Thursday stayed home and read half of Twilight. Friday decided I wanted a margarita. But not just ANY margarita- one from Chili’s. And did you know there aren’t many ITP? Yeah, they’re totally OTP. We ended up in Austell, GA.

And the conversation with the boyfriend went like this:

Me: OOOOOOOH! $1.98 for gas!! Welcome to the country!!

Boyfriend: The country?

Me: Yeah, we’re totally in the country.

Boyfriend: (laughs) Seriously, Adatingdiary. The country? I don’t think we’re in the country.

Me: We so totally are. Look! There’s a Walmart. That means country.

Boyfriend: We’re 7.8 miles from home.

Me: Um, yeah. But its Austell. The country.

Boyfriend: Whatever. Let’s get you a margarita.

And then after some apetizers, we ended up going home and crashing at 9. Because we’re like an old married couple. Saturday he had to work some. Because he’s a freakin’ workaholic, so I finished Twilight. And started New Moon. Read most of New Moon when I should have paid attention to football. But New Moon was totally better.

THEN!!! We went to one of my favorite restaurants in Atlanta. Here. I just love this place. Always have and haven’t been there in years. Its such a hidden gem. We then pondered going to Loca Luna or Twisted Taco, but as we were driving, I realized I’ve grown up. I really didn’t want to go out. I wanted to go home, drink some wine and go to sleep. As I reflected on this, the boyfriend said, “Yep. You’re growing up. Partying in moderation.” This made me a smidge sad, but going home was way more fun.

Sunday- I finished New Moon and decided not to go to a work thing. Since I was cancelling on Blondie, I promised to go to drinks with her Monday. Despite the fact that we both had work to do, the boyfriend suggest we go shopping. And we went to the North GA Premium Outlets. Which was a lovely, lovely drive up 400. And way better than working on a gorgeous Sunday.

Last night at Cheers, Blondie and I discussed Vampires and Twilight vs. Trueblood with the bartender. I explained that I think Sookie is THE. WORST. NAME. EVER. And he constantly said Sookie after that. Makes me cringe, but seriously- who names their child “Sookie Stackhouse?” Um, yes. Thats correct. Crazy people. Crazy Louisiana people. Or HBO producers.

So now here we are at Tuesday. To go to work event tonight or not. That is the question. I’m not sure yet as there is work stuff tomorrow and spending time with the boyfriend on Thursday as we are both out of town (two ships… crossing in the night) for the next week as his flight lands after mine takes off on Sunday. Sadness. And then when I get back, his flight takes off again and we won’t be back in the same place until Thursday- when we’ve taken half days to tailgate for GT/Miami.

So there is my life at the moment. I am seriously hoping there is no rain/snow in Detroit next week, despite what the weather says. I had a nightmare/embarassing situation last time with the rental car and I would prefer to not endure that again.

Blondie and I discussed the things on our minds last night and my quarter life crisis, which sucks. And I am trying to get through, but having a hard time. Fortunately, the evil ex and his random emails of crap and knowing that he’s still a f-up at 35 1/2 make me feel better.

And the name Sookie? Totally sucks.

My Day Today.

Company: No, you’re not going to detroit.

Me: Not cool, but ok.

Meeting with Company: We are putting a hold on detroit.

******** 2 hours later********

Company: I thought I said you’re going to detroit. You are going to detroit.

Me: Um… you didn’t. But, Ok.

***********************

Me to Boss: Oh yeah, did you hear? I am going to detroit. OH! And through our marketing inventory I’ve found a way for us to save half on our paper costs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (yes, I am a nerd.)

Boss: Say what? I know nothing of this. Paper? Sounds good. Be gone, minion. (tehe. not really. she was as confused as me.)

Corporate: Yes. You are coming to detroit.

*******************

Me to Blondie: I needs a drink. I is confused. Head spinning… Happy Hour?

Ah, the most beautiful city in the world. Detroit. I shall be visiting you soon. Again. Unless Company changes its mind. Again.

Oooh La La! Meme Time!

Blondie was tagged for her first meme and then tagged me. (I am all excited, but trying to play it cool.)

So here we go:

1. The McDanger Meme

What are your nicknames? Kates. A lot of people have called me that. Wish I was Secret Agent Kates or something, but nope… just kates.

What TV gameshow or reality show would you like to be on? I think I would dress like a bag lady for 2 weeks and be “secretly filmed” so that I could be on “What Not to Wear” because I totally want $5,000 to buy more shoes and clothes. I would play along and pretend that I have bad taste for the chance. In fact, I would stock my closet with stirrup pants for the opportunity. I heart that show.

What was the first movie you bought in VHS or DVD? I know that growing up I watched the VHS “Wizard of Oz” so much that I broke the tape. I was 3 at the time, so I doubt that I actually went and bought it. My first CD was Wilson Philips. I know, I shouldn’t openly admit that, but it was 1992 or something.

What is your favorite scent? I love floral smells. But! Simple ones. Like rose fragrances always get me.

If you had one million dollars to spend only on yourself, what would you spend it on? I’d buy a house or condo and keep my 4Runner. Probably invest the rest in stocks.

What is one place you’ve visited, can’t forget and want to go back to? Italy. If I really had the balls, I would move to Rome.

Do you trust easily? Heck no! But I used to. Thats why I am in therapy.

Do you generally think before you act, or act before you think? I like to think before I act if at all possible. I hate being irrational.

Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days? My quarter life crisis. Realizing that all I’ve accomplished since the last election is a marriage to a loser, divorce from a loser, and changed jobs several times. Joy!

Do you have a good body image? I guess so. The stress from my job has cause me to lose a lot of weight, so everything fits now.

What is your favorite fruit? Raspberries. I buy frozen organic ones and keep them in the freezer. Yuuuuuuuuuum!

What websites do you visit daily? facebook, blogs, news sites, investing sites, and trashy tabloid sites.

What have you been seriously addicted to lately? Chick-fil-a is my one addiction. I could eat it all day, every day.

What’s the last song that got stuck in your head? For some reason, that song by Ringside “Tired of Being Sorry.” So random.
What is your favorite thing to wear? dresses and skirts. I am very girly.
Do you think Rice Krispies are yummy? Yeah, but I would never make or buy them. They don’t interest me that much.

What would you do if you saw $100 lying on the ground? Think it must be my lucky day, pick it up and run like hell. I agree with Blondie, so I won’t be changing that one…
What items couldn’t you go without during the day? Ben-my iPhone and makeup.

What should you be doing right now? a marketing inventory that is killing my brain cells, but must be done.

2. Unconscious Mutterings Meme
(respond with the first thing that comes to mind)

I say … and you think … ?

1. In love : Valentine’s Day.
2. Be my guest : Where? And do I know you?
   
3. Number one : A cheesy Will Ferrell skit from SNL that made fun of being #1.
   
4. Swallowed whole : A nightmare.
5. 50 percent : I’m going shopping!
   
6. Made in : Taiwan.
7. Supplement : What I take because I have a horrible diet right now.
8. Right for : Someone. I hope I am.
9. Endless : That online shoe store.
   
10. Ceramic : Pottery!

As for who to tag next??? Since he hasn’t written much lately, Ha Ha Sound!

Millionth Time is the Charm.

So I’ve watched 27 Dresses on HBO and am currently finishing Bridge Jones Diary on Lifetime because I need to further delude myself about love and romance. But with this weekend and an afternoon to reflect, I can kinda see some things in the movies now that crack me up.

Long story short, I got a text yesterday while at the Tech game from the evil ex that said, “Adatingdiary, you know I’ll always love you.” and then later one that said, “I miss you.” And I was a.) shocked I got that and b.) pissed off that he would send something like that. I didn’t reply and he then sent one apologizing for sending that. And I don’t feel a thing towards him. Just disappointed I wasted some of my prime years on him. After not replying, he later apologized for sending the “I miss you text.” But all I can think? Douchebag. He then went for the low blow with another text later by trying to remind me of something from our marriage that was rather heartbreaking and that we went through together. I responded by saying that the boyfriend and I have already discussed that issue.

I also replied that I told the boyfriend about our text conversations as the boyfriend is cool with anything as long as I keep him in the loop. The ex replied (thanks Iphone for keeping all texts in chat form):

Evil Ex: Ok, I see whats up. Glad I could boost your already inflated ego. I’m such a sucker.

Adatingdiary: Hilarious. Its about me being with a better man now. Not ego.

(and, I might add, totally random and I am assuming an attempt to cover up his embarrassed and bruised ego…)

Evil Ex: Ha. I’ve had the best sex of my life with 22yr old sarah. Im doing just fine.

SAY WHAT? Now, this rather bizarre turn of events just proved how totally over him I am. Really? How on EARTH did it come to this??? Totally uncalled for and immature. I thought about how to handle that statement, but after weighing all the knee-jerk reactions, replied:

Adatingdiary: 1. You’re middle aged and too old to be preying on young waitresses. Its called pedophila. 2. That’s bs that its the best sex. The best sex is when you’re truly in love with the person like I am with the boyfriend.

His response?

Evil ex: Look, peace. Good luck to you.

And this? Is a perfect example of how I don’t miss him at all because I am not missing out on anything. He’s pratically 36. Bragging about sleeping with a Hooters waitress. Seriously? Is that something to be proud of? He finally just finished law school and took the bar, because the probation period for his DUI prevented him from taking it this past spring. His step brother, who is only a couple years older than him, is running for reelection in the State Senate. He’s wasted his youth at a bar. I mean, I’m all for following your dreams, but he started law school in 2001. Its almost 2009. What does he want, a cookie? He’s pathetic and I do find it funny that he would think that he could somehow win me over again. It took me awhile to learn my lesson, but the million time is the charm.

The boyfriend was extremely supportive of all that happened and was quite proud of me and handling the situation despite being in the same stadium. And this is why the boyfriend is the sweetest man on earth. All the evil ex did was bring me and the boyfriend closer together. So I guess he didn’t think that cunning plan all the way through. In the meantime, Hugh Grant’s loser character reminds me of the evil ex, although not nearly as cute, and the boyfriend? The respectable Colin Firth.

Sleepwalking?

Last night involved drinking, a snake, dancing, awesome friends and just a plain ol’ good halloween. After I got home and ate a pizza, I was getting ready for bed. The other day I downloaded the iphone application, “Easy Relax,” and its like a sound machine, but on your iphone/ipod. I’ve been using it when the boyfriend stays up and I want to go to sleep.

Well, weird S%^& has been happening since I started using it. I wake up on the other side of the bed, which is odd for me, but I thought nothing of it. Then last night, I switched to the “Beach” sounds and drifted off to sleep. Then sometimes around 5am, I woke up…

IN MY BATH TUB.

WTF??? Seriously?

I was fully clothed. And I have NEVER, EVER done anything like this. And as Blondie commented, I wasn’t drunk. I had some beers while I was out, but knew I would be tailgating this morning, so I took it easy.

Anyway, wtf? I still can’t figure it out and I am wondering if anyone else is having this strange reaction to the sounds. Are there subliminal messages? Is it like Ambien and I will eat the entire fridge in the middle of the night? I don’t know. I am utterly perplexed by this situation.

Time to tailgate! Just drank some red bull and am waiting on everyone else to join us at the “tailgate,” aka, our jobsite. And while I am not at GA/FL, I am still rooting for my team.

Go Dawgs! (yes, I despise the use of “dawgs” as there should never be a “w” in dogs.

Its a Small World.

Well, not really. See, the evil ex husband? His step brother is a state senator in this fine state. And running for re-election this November. So I’ve seen his ugly signs around his district and they crack me up (actually, make me laugh since it seems he skimped on graphic design help). So I was napping, as I am prone to do on afternoons when I am not working and the phone rang. It was C, who is the most amazing woman and does my hair.

C: State Senator (S.S.) just showed up at my door.

Add: WHAT!?!

C: Yeah. And it was hilarious. He said, “Hi! I’m S.S. and I am running for re-election.” And I was trying so hard not to laugh. And then I said, “I know Adatingdiary!” and then he looked like the most tongue-tied man on the planet.

Add: OH. MY. Gawd.

C: (laughing) Yeah. I just thought it was the most hysterical thing. And then I told him I already voted.

Add: HAHAHA! That just made my Halloween.

C: I just had to call you and tell you.

Add: Did he have his hair all slicked back?

C: Yeah and wearing the whole shirt and tie thing.

Add: Wow. That is just awesome.

C: Yeah, especially since I voted straight democrat!

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd there ya have it. C was there through the WHOLE evil exhusband debacle. Through the times when he left Christmas Eve morning and didn’t come home until 11pm Christmas night. She heard about all that family’s dirty laundry. Especially the part where the ex’s grandparents said, “No self respecting wife calls the cops on her husband.” Which, is total bull. Yes, if your son is an aggressive drunk? ANY woman should call the cops. And the evil ex’s mother knew about his alcohol abuse, but ignored it despite me calling her for help. She heard it all during the hours of hair styling. And she was awesome in terms of advice when I decided to leave and divorce the ex. Contrary to what he said, adults really don’t go out to bars and get hammered that much. Especially not married men in their mid-thirties. She was so helpful and so supportive with all the horror stories. (hehe, horror stories? Guess this is a Halloween entry after all!)

Karma’s a bitch, isn’t it?

Sure, S.S. will win because he’s playing it easy in a North Metro Atlanta, mostly Republican district. But at least we got a good laugh out of him hoofing around subdivisions.

This is a most ironic post as the ex is a tax lawyer and gave me horrible tax advice last year (either he’s totally incompetent or just a total douchebag) and I owed on my income taxes and paid in April. Unfortunately, the state screwed up and for some reason applied that to my 2008 return (yeah, 2008 hasn’t finished yet. Way to go, guys.) and I got a letter saying I was delinquent on my taxes. I called, spoke to someone who didn’t speak English and despite the system showing I paid PLUS my email confirmation in April, I had to spend precious “day off” time with the GA dept of revenue. And was so pissed because if the evil ex was competent, none of this would have happened anyway. I resisted the urge to write a post about it as thats why he is just that, the evil ex. But C’s story? Couldn’t resist.

Happy Halloween, everyone!

Sanity Day.

I’m in bed. Relaxing. I took today off - aka - a sanity day. And it’s freakin awesome. I just woke up, made coffee and am now watching lifetime on a tv too large to have ever been purchased by a girl. The boyfriend brought back some Yankee illness from his trip, so last night we practically od’ed on airborne. And now I feel amazing. Ready for halloween festivities this evening…. Ah, thank God for Sanity.

Confession.

I am going to be something slutty for Halloween.

There. I said it. Its all out in the open. And we don’t have to pretend anymore.

Its the one day of the year where I dress like most hardcore partying girls who dress like that the other 364(or 365) days a year. Since I royally sucked at deciding and ordering a costume in advance (thanks work!), I am going to be using one of Blondie’s costumes. And I will be “Jail Bait.” Blondie even has a created nametag.

The boyfriend does not agree with the whole “dressing like a whore” idea, so he will not be going out. But he is totally fine with me doin’ my own thing. So I will be. Can’t get too crazy since we are tailgating the next morning for the 3:30 game, but you better believe I will be living it up.

Its my one day of the year for fishnet and wearing something sized for a 1st grader. I am even taking the day off to prepare myself for the festivities.

Ah, I feel better. There’s my confession.

So Proud.

As I mentioned in a post last week, the boyfriend is out of town. After partying like a rock star for a football game up North, it was now time for him to recruit people at his alma mater. Ah, but the boyfriend made me proud and after numerous drunk calls and texts last night, there was this:

iPhone: ring ring ring

Add: (Working diligently and lookin’ all cute in my favorite suit for a luncheon) Hello?

Boyfriend: ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I think I need my stomach pumped.

Add: Oh really?

Boyfriend: Yes. I feel like I am dying.

Add: Oh, goodness! Well, I got your calls. And text.

Boyfriend: Yeah. But that was after my first pitcher of Captain Morgan.

Add: But that was at midnight!

Boyfriend: It only got worse. I had two more pitchers. And beer. And sang karaoke.

Add: WHAT?! You sang karaoke?

Boyfriend: Yes. By the way, I think I am dying. Did I mention that?

Add: Yeah, you did. So what did you sing?

Boyfriend: Piano Man and A Whole New World.

Add: Good Lord.

Boyfriend: Um, yeah. I need advil. Actually, I think I am still drunk.

Add: So what time do you have to be up and partaking in life?

Boyfriend: 10am. And its, what, 8:15?

Add: 8:09. Good Luck with that! I am so proud. For once, its you with the work hangover. And just think! You get to go do your recruiting stuff and then fly back home tonight! That will be fun.

Boyfriend: Oh my goodness. This is going to be one awful day.

Add: Ok, I am going back to work now. Can’t wait til you get home tonight!

Boyfriend: (groans.) Click.

And then I promptly sent an email to his fellow co-worker and recruiting adventure cohort and congratulated him on getting the boyfriend this drunk on a school night.

Now, my goal? To get him this hammered at the GA Tech game this Saturday. Muhahaha.

Shape Matters.

Last night I met Blondie for a much needed beer. We met up at Cheers after work and got down to business- iphoning. Our phones, Steve and Ben, met and she showed me some features on the phone I never would have dreamed about, let alone learn. And then we started discussing a gift I received today with the bartender:

A football shaped salami.

With all the business my company has given our promotional vendor, she’s been bringing me fun gifts. And I love getting her gifts. Beer coolers, a special jacket for the golf tournament (special in the fact that no one else had one) and yesterday she showed up with gifts to promote corporate Christmas gifts. And it was a cutting board with cheese, a knife, crackers and(!) a football shaped salami.

So after much discussion and salami/sausage jokes, Blondie and the bartender (who is quickly becoming a favorite of mine) asked to see it. I braved the cold and wind and walked back to my car to get it. I went back into the bar and they unwrapped the package. After examining the fine specimen that was the salami, we decided to serve it. To the bar.

(note the detailed lacing on the salami football. And! Ben takes awesome pictures.)

Blondie worked diligently and cut the whole freakin’ football and all the cheese.

(watch out! Blondie knows how to use a knife!)

We got plates and arranged it all and were provided with those little green pirate swords they use for drinks, and served the salami, cheese and crackers to everyone at the bar.

(Martha Stewart would be so proud. Maybe Blondie and I can develop a book: “Entertaining Bar Patrons”)

Blondie and I questioned whether this violated health code rules, but I think they pretended they didn’t hear that.

So! All in all, another eventful evening. Complete with salami and beer. Then I went home and passed out with Ben and woke up at 1am with iTunes still on. I am finding myself doing this more and more, which is odd, but whatever. Its cold, rainy and the boyfriend is out of town until Tuesday night. Girls weekend! Holla!

Stupid Star Wars

So we got a new fancy schmancy phone system. You know, one that actually brings us to the 21st century and does more that just receive or place calls.

Well, this new system comes with about 30+ ringtones. And this includes the options of “r2d2″ and “wookie” sounds. Naturally, most people have chosen something awful and I can’t handle hearing wookies throughout the office.

Seriously, WTF?

Wookies? Nothing says professional like wookie sounds going off during a meeting.

That is all.

Dear Blondie,

You know our love of dive bars? Uh, huh. Yep. And how we get free shots and free drinks and love the comedy that ensues??? And how we complain that there are never any quality men at these fine establishments that smell like a combination of clorox, alcohol and puke from the the previous weekend?

Yeah…….

Maybe we’re doing it wrong:

At least we are dream girls to those rough men. Well, we enter the bar gracefully and then stumble out. Minor details.

Much love,

Adatingdiary

My Life With Ben.

Ben is what I have named my iPhone. He sleeps next to me, whispers sweet nothings and provides me with so much information and activities. I heart him.

So life has been so much brighter and rosy with Ben. Unfortunately, my boyfriend does not feel the same way. He doesn’t like how Ben distracts me while watching football or how I always know what the temperature is or what the traffic conditions are like or how I can see what Blondie is up to with the GPS. But I remind him that he has Jill, and that is his navigational system. Friends have asked him about my relationship with Ben and he rolls his eyes.

He is not a fan of Ben.

But while on date night #2 this past weekend, Ben was in my purse and the boyfriend was the focus of my attention- believe me I put Ben away when necessary because sometimes he needs a nap. So, all in all, things are good. Work is still stressful, but eh. I am toughening up and learning to grow a pair as I am done being a pushover. And its funny to see peoples reactions. No crazy stories, no antics to report. I’m becoming an adult more and more every day. And its actually pretty fun.

Well, fun if Ben is there.

A Whole New World.

Much like my love life, after weighing the pros and cons and going back and forth…

I jumped in feet first.

iPhone.

My beautiful, sweet iPhone.

I am now an AT&T customer and despite loathing AT&T, most of my life consists of email, texts and the occasional call after 9pm anyways (well, unless its the boyfriend or Blondie)…

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. It truly changes life.

iPhone.

Pure bliss.

A Moment of Sanity

Yesterday, my boss called and said I needed to leave by 4. I said, “..Uh, Yeah. Sounds great. Thanks!” when I really wanted to say, “OMG ARE YOU SERIOUS? YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! No more work???? Believe me. I will be out of here STAT.”

And I was.

But of course, being Atlanta weather, a drop of rain means traffic is at a standstill. A whole day of rain? Means you’re screwed. But I was not so screwed as I got to leave work at 4 and beat the reallly horrible traffic, remember? And I dropped of laundry at the cleaners and picked up Vodka, two of the important errands in life. Later the boyfriend greated me with flowers and we ordered Thai and were asleep by 10:30. Man, we are old.

And today, while RELAXING and drinking coffee and not trying to cram a million things into 1 day because another week will take over my life, I have realized something: Somehow in the midst of all this work, I became a work clothes whore. See, I am a big fan of all things Banana Republic and J. Crew for work. And lately? Since I’ve been living in my work clothes? I noticed that I’ve managed to receive email announcements (20% off here, 30% off here… Free Shipping and because I have the BR Luxe card, I get all those damn reward points). Well? I’ve accumulated a whole wardrobe of work clothes lately. Which in retrospect is kinda funny. I love coming home at the end of a long day to find a box waiting for me at the door before I have a drink to convince myself that I love my job and all its perks. And I’ve done that a lot. A LOT. And its not that bad as, since my life has consisted of work and going home, my disposable income was more favorable of this situation, but seriously? I guess thats the way I dealt with the stress of it all. Cause when I am stressed, I don’t eat (isn’t such a bad thing when I want to lose weight after enjoying life too much) and then drink and (on-line) shop more. I guess I felt that if I was going to be at work that much and wear those clothes all the time, I better damn well make sure I look darn cute. And now I have time to clean up the place and the closet and see that apparently the past couple months have been stressful. Both my waist and closet show this.

I don’t really know what the point of all this is, but now that I finally have time to sit and reflect on the past few months, I realize that working that much is not cool. I also realize I stress out about it too much and need to stand up for myself. And I am working on the standing up for myself part as I have gotten to the point of frustration that I’m not in the mood to take crap anymore. From anyone. People at work like me at the fact that 1 person doesn’t? Whatever. A smart Dr. once told me that if you can’t name 5 people in life that don’t like you, you’re doing it wrong. Not standing up for what you believe and trying to please everyone. I needed a big kick in the butt to remind myself of this and need to tell myself this everyday. Not everyone is going to like me. And I need to learn to be ok with that. And this includes people at work.

So now that I have time for coffee and things, like um… life, I need to learn to enjoy it again and take it all in again and stop rushing. Cause I finally have time to do so. And I can reconnect with my friends!!!!! Because I have missed them dearly. Crazy adventures with Blondie? Hanging out with Polly Pocket? Actually spending time with the boyfriend? And don’t even get me started about how I haven’t even been able to keep up with Frenchie…But maybe I can relax and live life. And do it without redoing my entire wardrobe.

Yeah, Right.

I’ve been so busy working that worrying about what I want to be for halloween was majorly put on the backburner.

And then I saw this:

And thought, maybe if I had that damn costume my ex-husband wouldn’t have been that creepy alone guy at Hooters almost every night.

And then I laughed.

Cause, yeah right.

As for the rest, I need to make the big decision this weekend. What will I be? The boyfriend doesn’t like Halloween as girls feel the need to dress in scantily clad outfits. I say its the ONLY day of the year when I do so in public, so, tough. In the meantime I finally got a break from being slammed at work today and hope this weekend should be splendid as because of both our work schedules, date night was cancelled 3 nights in a row. And he owes me. Big.

So thats about all thats happened this week. Work. Surprise career fair. Work. Work. Caught up on episodes of Gavin & Stacey- and who can forget jaeger Monday and the insane antics of that night.

All I can say, there are going to be some major changes soon, folks!

Tears and Beers

Ok, I said I’d write more. And I meant it.

All last minute and stuff, I had to go to a career fair. I was up late last night and totally put on whatever I didn’t have to iron. Barely blowdried my hair and was out the door. And at work by 7am. I didn’t even have proper eye makeup on… but you know what that means in life? Thats the day of all days when you’ll have to do something in public. for hours.

So there I was, alone for the first 30 min because the other person alerted last minute they had to do this was on his way. And it was a meat market. Serious sausage fest. And hot guys from other companies made me happy. But the standing in heels and reality of how bad the economy is as laid off people attend the career fair of their alma mater? damn depressing.

So I came home to a ruined date night (second night in a row, mind you) and now am here drinking the rockies. Come join me.

This Is My Jam

2 posts in 1 day? C’mon! How insane is that? Ya wanna know why?
Cause despite a jager hangover, I made it through 9 hours of work and left at a decent hour again today. And I have been home since 5. Watched crap tv, took a bath, made dinner and now I sit in my pajamas and check blogs while I wait for 90210 v2.0 to start.

So whats been going on? Well, work literally took over my life. And I disappeared for awhile. I knew I’d hit a new low when it was 10pm and the marketing manager from corporate and I started playing Britney Spears “Drive Me Crazy” video on Youtube while we worked on a proposal. And then there were the presentations and other proposals and things with deadlines so ominous and rigid and all due at the same time. There were several days where I didn’t even see sunlight. And I made an escape by going to buy binders at Office Depot and called Frenchie (who probably thought I up and died or joined the peace corps and hadn’t returned any of her texts in DAYS) and left a voicemail proclaiming the sheer joy of being able to drive with the sunroof open in the actual sun during an actual day. She probably thought I’d become certifiably insane. And then one night I got home at 11pm and read my email to find out that Blondie got a new job. And I didn’t know. Because I’d been working and not even having to leave to go get food as they had it brought in for us.

Yes, it was bad.

And then! Thrown into all of that? A golf tournament. Coupled with the fact that my boss’s boss doesn’t like me? Yeah, fun times.

But I survived. Don’t quite know where September went and everyone says I need to take a vacation, but I just got back from one!! I was down in Florida with Frenchie. Drinking way too much, getting in trouble at bars at 2pm (hey! it was labor day and those “dirty banana” drinks were too damn yummy) and then buying patriotic man thongs for our respective boyfriends because you know what says “I love you!” upon vacation return than a man thong. Also, Frenchie and I modeled various items at the Wings store on the beach and took pictures. Because we are classy.

I digress.

So I came home to a whole heap of work, stress and then trying to cram as much fun into my Saturdays as I possibly could (um, but the Nascar condo this past weekend in Charlotte was pretty freakin’ sweet). And now here I am. Two days in a row of leaving at an early hour. Don’t worry. And that all led to last night’s drunken escapade in which, yes, I did reenact how I managed to flash a bunch of Chinese men the morning. And some people at work. Ahhhh, yes. How I am sure the bars have missed me.

So thats whats been up. Other than work and drinking epic amounts on the weekend, life continued on cruise control while time flew by. So here I am. Mid-October and ready for something. Something big. And ready to take back my life. And of course, that means blogging more.

Ummmm…

I managed to get out of here around 5 yesterday. Sure, I only worked 9.5 hours yesterday, but whatever. So I took advantage of that time to go grab drinks with Blondie as I’ve been totally MIA from life lately.

Working.

Way.

Too.

Much.

And there might have been (free) jager last night. And I might kinda want a whole #1 combo from Chick-fil-a right now. But the only thing keeping me sane is that when I got my raise this past summer, I started depositing money into another account to invest some day. And when the market hit rock bottom last week? I seized upon this moment to buy things low. Like a “Stock Sale” and the high was better than a new pair of gorgeous heels. And my stocks are now up. And life is good.

But the fact that that makes me giddy? Because all I do is work and go home and work and go home?

Sad. Sad. Sad.

I want to post more. But who knows when my schedule will get better. I feel like life is passing me by and all I am doing is working. And then trying to cram as much fun into Saturdays as possible because I’ve been working Sundays lately (except this past weekend! Ha!).

Anyways, I must end my bitchy pity party and get back to work.

Damn. I need some greasy food now.

Pseudo-Wino?

Hellllllllo!

I am alive! And haven’t had a.) time and b.) energy to write. Its been super busy with going to visit Frenchie in Florida, football, partying with football, thinking of what I want to be for halloween, too much wine and of course- work, work, work. Because I just love working all the time. LOVE it. And thats why wine companies love me. Because I work and then buy booze with it to offset the work stress. Amazing how that works, isn’t it?

So I promise to write about all the craziness soon.

My Dad…

Has given me the task of picking out a name for his boat.

Any suggestions?

Now. For a bit about my dad.

He went through a divorce from my evil step mother a few years back. And has been on the mend ever since. He moved back to Philadelphia and has a really kickass job up there… but he has been out of the dating scene for about… 16 years. As a result, I find myself giving him advice on the ladies. And the thing is, he’s a good looking guy. MBA from a great business school, fit, was right in hating the ex and not approving of my marriage before I married him and he is entertaining… but he has no clue how to date anymore. When I called to tell him all sorts of good news a couple weeks ago, the conversation went like this:

Dad: Yeah, so I was out with a friend of mine and we met these ladies. One speaks Italian and was really pretty. She gave me her card.

Me: And???

Dad: Well, I hope she calls.

Me: WHAT!?!

Dad: Yeah.

Me: Um. Her offering you her card was her way of getting you to ask for hers.

Dad: Hmm. Really?

Me: YES.IT.WAS.

Dad: Oh, see. I need your help on these things.

Me: No joke.

Dad: What did you say?

Me: Oh. Um… Glad I don’t smoke.

Dad: Ok. Cool.

So this shall be an adventure to follow! My yankee father back up north and dating again! He’s thrilled beyond belief that the boyfriend is a lovely Philadelphian. Some weird cult or something.

Boat names!!!

And please. No tacky suggestions. The dude needs a lady. So suggestions of boat names that will lure ladies will be much appreciated.

At Least I am Laughing.

I am sitting here next to the boyfriend. He’s all serious. Pensive. Working hard on whatever work thing he is doing.

Me?

I’m more distracted with the internet. And blogs. And checking out my manicure.

Maybe it has something to do with the awesome dinner I made us before he got home.

And for some reason I started whistling Feliz Navidad.

But, ya’ll. Its August. So I don’t remember the words except “Feliz Navidad.”

So I tried whisting.

And whistling and snapping my fingers.

And dancing in my chair.

Him? Somehow still pensive. So off to Youtube I have voyaged! And this video? Like Christmas Crack for kids with ADD. I dare you to hit play and watch the technicolor masterpiece!

Seriously- I dare you!!

And I am playing Feliz Navidad on repeat. And waiting to see how many times I can play it before he cracks. Either way, he is going to have this damn song stuck in his head.

And for some reason? This is cracking me up beyond belief. AND! I’ll know all the words again by tomorrow.

Am I just cruel? He is not phased.

I am impressed.

Many thanks to my work MacBook Pro for the excellent speaker system.

Freakin’ Bunny Boiler.

On Tuesday night I had a work event at a popular bar in Atlanta. It sounds all great in theory, but I ended up going to 8 stores to pick up 2 things for said event and showed up an hour late. I was less than happy.

When I got there, it was so crowded that I was overwhelmed. I grabbed a drink and headed to the bathroom to collect myself. I jokingly texted Stacey that I would stay in there all night to avoid the crowd, but after a couple sips, I got my big girl courage and walked out to see if I knew anyone.

I didn’t.

So the next idea was to grab food (Sadly, I was on the event planning committee, but had no energy to scoailize) and set my plate down on a ledge. The girls next to me were young like me so I started talking to them. We chatted and chatted for a few minutes and I tried to catch a glimpse of the name tag on the girl next to me.

Oh crap.

It was the boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend from college. And they aren’t even southern. They are both yankees. Its not like they both went to UGA and this is a common occurance.

Yeah.

WHAT?!?

So, I knew the background story on her. She happened to move down here after college and when they dated, she had broken up with him… etc. etc. etc.

I didn’t know what to say, “Hey! My fabulous boyfriend is one you broke up with in college. Thank you for making a big mistake. Toodles!”

Nope.

Instead I said I was his friend and knew him. I did know she was in this organization, but I didn’t know she would be there as I’ve never, EVER seen her at one of the events. I didn’t want to make things uncomfortable, so we chatted about him and how great he is, how he just won an amazing award, etc.

She had to leave early, so I invited her to hang out sometime and she went on her merry way.

Of course I immediately texted the boyfriend about it and I am sure he about spit his drink out at dinner with his boss. As soon as he left, he called me:

Me: (after two drinks) Hello, darling!!!!!!!!!!!!

Him: What did you say to her?

Me: Te-he. Whatever do you mean?

Him: Was she drunk?

Me: No! She had a soccer game. Lovely girl.

Him: Well, she started texting me as soon as she left.

Me: Oh, really? How cute.

Him: Yes. The first one says, “I miss you.” The second one says…

Me: (choking…) WHAT?!?!?!?!?!

Him: Yeah. The second one says, “What do I have to do for you to see me?” The third one says…

Me: Oh. My. Goodness. What the hell?? I can’t believe this! She acted like she didn’t even care. This was YEARS ago you broke up!!!

Him: Brother got it going on.

Me: You’re a freakin’ riot.

- and scene -

So she called, left a voicemail, texted, texted and texted some freakin’ more.

Freakin’ Bunny Boiler.

She has still texted him and OH-SO-DESPERATELY wants to meet up for dinner with him. I am guessing that a.) she misses him b.) I told her too much about how awesome he is and c.) shoulda just told her I was his girlfriend.

So the boyfriend is out of town. And IRONICALLY- at a conference where Bunny Boiler’s father is speaking. I just dont get how you haven’t seen someone in over a year, talked to them in FOREVER and now you’re going to text him how much you miss him?? I mean, c’mon! Have some dignity! (Wo)Man-up!

In the meantime, I will be cuddling with my dog and hoping I don’t come home to him in a pot of boiling water.

(ps- inititally I kept saying “Bunny Burner.” Many thanks to Blondie who corrected me…)

Like An Adult.

Everything has been kinda crazy lately, but this past weekend was the first full weekend together (meaning: BEING THERE THE WHOLE TIME) for the boyfriend and me. And it was marvelous. Saturday we went to the grocery store, got a coffee pot (he has never had one. why? I don’t understand this. oh well), I made lunch and after watching the Olympics, we played tennis. TENNIS, Ya’ll! Something I haven’t done since high school… but it was fun and I highly enjoyed the experience of being a healthy relationship with a normal and wonderful man. When we were getting ready to leave for dinner, he learned what an eyelash curler was, so I now consider it a fully productive weekend. I think he was initially confused as to what I was doing with this contraption that close to my eyes. But after a brief explanation, he got the point.

We went to one of my favorite restaurants and then for dessert and drinks afterwards. We were back by 9 to watch more Olympics. Sunday was pool, me running errands, getting my hair done and then back to cook dinner and introduce him to Mad Men.

I am so excited because it was a great weekend- that didn’t include getting hammered. And in a normal relationship, apparently people have weekends like this. Just enjoy spending time with each other. And this is something I am so not used to. As I told the fabulousness that is Cori when she was coloring my hair, “I had no idea how jacked up my life was before!” And this is true, but it also takes spending time with the right person. Sure, I do get made fun of for being insanely pale and I also did shriek in fear at one point when he hit the tennis ball really hard, but for some reason those things are endearing to him.

Time with him this weekend also reminded me how adorable he is- how serious he gets when he takes work calls or checks his work email. His voice goes from normal to “serious-business-work-voice.” His blue eyes get redder and redder as he gets more and more tired and I can tell when he is stressed and messing with his hair as it looks extra voluminous. He’s an adorable thing and such a keeper. We won’t be in town on the weekend at the same time for the next five weeks, but a normal weekend with a wonderful guy makes me appreciate something that I didn’t have for so long.

And I’ve had so much energy! See, I cut most alcohol out of my diet. Yeah, a glass of wine here and there, but for the most part I am all mineral water, green tea and coffee. Not only have I spent so much less, but I am sleeping better and feeling great. I do feel 80 drinking mineral water, but its been a nice alcohol substitute. Not to mention, no feeling like a whale the morning after and my supply of advil has become unnecessary. The benefits of not drinking are endless!!

Thanks Facebook.

For all the pictures of my 20 year old sister looking all thin, tanned (YES TANNED!) and toned. We are the same height and same build, so I guess for the next 5 months you’ll find me at the gym. Or eating egg whites and nothing else. She looks amazing.

I want to look like her.

Ugh.

That is all.

Moments with Blondie and Adatingdiary

(I will be sure to let Blondie know if her daughter is the village bicycle.)

Blondie: know what i worry about?
having an ugly baby
like this girl’s
[link she wants me to see]
(she’s a bitch from my sorority)
me: omg
it looks shriveled up
I worry about having an ugly baby too
or what if I have and ugly one
and a cute one
Blondie: yeah
me: or a whole slew of ugly children
if I do, please tell me.
Blondie: i know
and then everyone will be like, awwww….sooooo cute. but they won’t mean it!
me: dont say, “ooooooooooooooh. wow.. um. yeaaaah… Adatingdiary. your baby is… so…………….. cute.”
just slap me upside the head and say, “please. no more procreating. you have ugly kids. hideous kids. like shrek.”
well, maybe dont say it like that
or I will cry.
a lot.
Blondie: yeah, i won’t say that
me: but find a gentle way to say I have ugly kids.
Blondie: i’ll just suggest that your kids become star atheletes so they will be successful
nothing worse than an ugly loser
me: hahahaha
Blondie: so if i tell you your kid should be an athelete, that’s my code word for “he’s ugly”
me: ok, I will mark that down.
I will make a book of code words like this
Blondie: yes, and when our kids are teenagers and you find out that my daughter is a total slut, find a creative way to tell me
Blondie: did you ever eat smarties as a kid and pretend they were pills
“haha, i’m an adult now. i’m taking my medication”
me: I just snorted pixie stix
“haha, i’m a coke addict now.”
thats what we played.
(you know I am kidding, right?)
Blondie: yeah, and we ’smoked’ the candy cigarettes
me: btw- I will say, “Hey Blondie! Your daughter sure does like the Costco size variety pack of popsicles!”
Blondie: what was wrong with our society?
me: that will be code for slut

And My Network Would be???

I found this little flavor of delight while connecting to my network:

Who are these neighbors? Really horny men or butch lesbians?

I am not sure.

Does this mean I am TeamPenis?

Dog Bones.

A couple weeks ago, I was walking Vinny at the boyfriends place. Outside, some neighbor guy and his friends started talking to me and asked me questions about Vinny. He then announced that he works for Purina and offered me the wonderful opportunity to come to his place for dog bones. I politely declined, but the boyfriend is convinced that he doesn’t work for Purina and that this was a pickup line to get me to his place.

Um, huh?

I seriously doubt this as one was even wearing a purina shirt, but he is convinced that they don’t. I could just totally be naive. Not that I’ve ever been naive before…

Thoughts?

And if guys actually use these types of lines, why??? Its pretty… creepy.

(Fyi- the boyfriend does read this blog, so I am sure he will be interested to read these respones.)

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The Weirdest Guy I Ever Dated. (Part 2)

(If I stayed with him, I could now be Mrs. Treehugger.)

So last week Opera IMed me for the first time in several years, but my internet disconnected.

Well, he’s back for part 2.

Earlier this week he was back online and interesting as ever! I did find out what he is doing now and where he is in school (yes, pursuing another degree) and its all what you would expect.

Here is a snippet of our conversation.

opera: i learned Arabic
which was very hard
me: cool!
opera: i still need to know a lot more, but im able to talk
me: thats neat!
opera: I took some master gardener courses
me: fun!
opera: Arborist classes
horticulture classes
me: my goodness
opera: i know, i geeked out
me: you make me feel very unproductive.
me: I did a nice tour on partying
opera: hows that
me: haha
it was a phase.
opera: oh, i created a touch and smell garden for the blind
opera: mostly herbs and textures plants

Ok, now let’s stop here. And pause.

WTF?????????

Yes, so this dude went up to harvard and got all tree hugger on me. Great. We lost a good looking, straight guy to the tree hugger movement. Needless to say, I didn’t know whether to laugh or not. I couldn’t tell if he was serious. But I am guessing he is as he said:

opera: Im very, very green now
Oh goodness. Really?

And later…

opera: ok
i have to figure out whats for dinner
me: something from the garden?
opera: braised fennel most likely
i avoid meat now
eat it twice a month max
me: oh, wow! thats intense.
opera: i treat meat like a condiment….i dont need it with every meal
me: this is very, very true

Wow. Its amazing how people change. I know I am 100% different from when we dated, but really? I am kinda still laughing about his transformation into Dr. Treehugger.

I serious